Mind - Discipline Checkpoint
Circling back to the homework I gave y’all back in April—this is a checkpoint. How are we feeling about those habit building/breaking patterns? Have we made any progress?
Recirculating this for those of us who need a reminder to stay disciplined.
Body - On Camera
I started posting food content on TikTok about a year ago. It was mostly just little camera roll dumps here and there, with vibey tracks and maybe a selfie if I was feeling brave. Recently (like last week recently lol), upon my return from New Orleans (which was inspiring and galvanizing on many deeply personal levels) I’ve begun experimenting with making actual videos.
Seeing as reviewing content like this is a part of my day job, and I have some pretty basic video editing and post cadence knowledge, I figured, “what the heck, why not.” The only thing stopping me before was my fear of being perceived, but publishing this newsletter weekly, as well as doing some more client and influencer facing work for the day job, has helped me get over that stage fright. Anyway, here is a link to a video I made about the chicken soup I made from scratch last week.
Spirit - Vulnerability
Seeing as this is a relatively sparse newsletter this week, I wanted to just leave some thoughts here about something that I’ve been experimenting with lately on a personal level.
It has occurred to me that I have been hiding for most of my life. I used to absolutely loathe getting my photo taken—not only because of the dysmorphia I’d steeped myself in, but also because I did not want to know how others saw me. When you step into recovery from addiction, one of the first things you notice is that you can no longer hide from yourself. This is a jarring process on its own, especially since most addicts are used to some level of self-abandonment. Interestingly, a byproduct of this has been the fact that I no longer feel shielded from, or afraid of, being perceived by others.
As a relatively shy person (at least historically), the idea of someone being able to see me clearly, and the idea that I may allow someone to see me, was extremely intimidating and quite scary. It is strange learning how preoccupied I once was with thoughts like, “if they see me, they will surely run away”, or “if they can see that on my face, what else can they see?”
Since the beginning of the year though, one of the most beautiful, profound and valuable lessons I have learned, is that allowing someone to see you takes courage and a level of skill. Skillfulness and a willingness to stand in front of someone knowing they can see you, and knowing that regardless of what they perceive, you can’t control anything but your own stance and reaction. Skill to allow yourself to be loved, flaws and all. Skill to build and sustain self-worth and self-esteem.
Apparently this “vulnerability” is also the foundation for all intimacy—whether that’s with friends, family or lovers (lol, who knew.)
Learning what it means to be comfortable in my skin has taken almost 35 years, and I’m still learning. I am experimenting with allowing myself to be seen. And so, a few prompts: Ask someone to take your photo. Heck, ask a hand full of people (strangers, loved ones, etc.) to take your photo. What might you find in yourself, by looking through another’s point of view? Are you brighter or gloomier than you thought you were? Are you larger energetically? Or smaller? How can you make yourself more visible? How can you practice showing up more plainly and authentically? Does the idea of doing that feel scary? If so, why?
Just some food for thought.