Joy as/of/in Resistance
"Our idea of happiness may be the very thing that's preventing us from being happy."
Mind - Over Matter
I am very very scared of heights —*cut to*— I recently went indoor climbing with a friend. I got to the top of the (level 0) climb and felt triumphant. After feeling a flash of embarrassment over taking 15 minutes to climb no more than 15 ft, I felt an overwhelming sense of joy.
I am still afraid of heights, but now I know my body is more capable than I’d given it credit for. I climbed to the top slowly, taking very deliberate steps and telling myself that everything would be okay. Anything worthy of experiencing requires an amount of courage. This includes experiencing joy. And so, the mental prompt this week is to have the courage to climb. Push through the pain and fear in order to surprise yourself, and experience joy.
Body - Work with Your Hands
A friend recently invited me to help them print and construct some merch and zines at a local riso shop. It had been years since I worked with those materials and was in that environment, and it triggered an immediate wave of joy, excitement and inspiration for me.
In addition to giving my support to my friend and their creative productions (via time and labor, because showing up is important), I will be dusting off some of my own creative concepts and starting to experiment (once I’m more comfortable with the space and don’t burn the shit out of my hand on the flash dryer, of course.) Body prompt this week is to do something that requires dexterity—switching it up!
Spirit - The Chosen Ones
“The notions and ideas we have about happiness can entrap us. We forget they are just notions and ideas. Our idea of happiness may be the very thing that’s preventing us from being happy. When we are caught in a belief that happiness should take a particular form, we fail to see the opportunities for joy that are right in front of us.”
—Thích Nhất Hạnh, How to Love
There is an interesting conversation happening around the idea of wanting to be “chosen” (or what the internet is calling being a “pick me.”) I recently saw a headline that read, “You don’t want love, you want to be chosen so you can feel worthy.” My immediate reaction was suspicion. I feel like we have collectively lost the plot.
Why would you not actively participate in choosing the people you value and love? In order to maintain relationships—with family, friends, lovers, and otherwise—we must choose to show up for each other. In order to grow together we must put in effort to understand one another. I want to feel like the people in my life have chosen me because they believe I am worthy of investment, not because I was thrust upon them, and not out of obligation. That initial proclamation—the “I choose you”—and the subsequent investment in that relationship is what builds the foundation of that relationship.
Should I avoid love because there is a collective narrative that if I want love, I must not love myself? What form then, am I supposed to expect love to come in? These are questions I think we need to start asking ourselves, especially as narratives around the loneliness epidemic are escalating and becoming more visible in the zeitgeist. We are collectively saying, “I want to experience joy and love, but saying that out loud is cringe, so I guess I’ll just resign myself to a life of loneliness.” Let’s reorient our thinking.
The spiritual prompt this week is to choose the people in your life. Actively choose to engage with them, reach out to them, communicate with them, and tell them that you choose them.
Bonus!
Just because it brought me joy, teehee. You can find more where that came from (including sick reference materials) here.
