Coagulate

From shedding to testing out the new scales

Mind

I decided I’m going to have more fun this year. Part of that is my new-found ability to be perceived. Over the winter break I was inspired by old friends, new cities, started creative projects, strengthened bonds with family, and learned that ruminating is a trap. However, I wouldn’t be who I am without adding a bit of structure to this “fun.”

gentle monster glasses are in the mail as we speak

A few of the rules I’ve placed for myself to track against are as follows:

1. Explain myself less. I will not be adding caveats to my behaviors. I am who I am.

2. Have stronger boundaries. I already get accused of gatekeeping myself, and things are about to get even stricter.

3. Try things for the sake of trying them, rather than to “master” them. It’s fine to suck at something, it’s called being a beginner. Plus, that’s the most exciting part, so why rush it?

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Body

A few things have shifted for me stylistically. A friend asked if these choices were “conceptual or aesthetic”, which I found really thought-provoking. I’ve decided they’re both. They are the following:

1. I took my braids out. After spending the better part of an hour detangling my hair, I decided to cut it off. People say hair holds memory and all sorts of ancient information. In the interest of discarding unnecessary data, I decided it was simply best to eliminate it. I can genuinely say I feel more myself without it. I wake up, and I can see my face clearly. It’s harder to hide this way, and that’s the idea.

   

   shorn

2. That said, I am not completely without adornment, as at the same time I’ve managed to add more tattoos to my hands. I was talking to another friend about how hand tattoos have historically been stigmatized as “job killers”, unless you were in the creative industry or working a trade. I like the idea of having a plethora of hand tattoos and none on my arms, which is the opposite approach most take. Typically, you’ll find folks with full sleeves of tattoos on their arms with open spaces on their hands and neck so that they can cover them in corporate spaces.
   
   Obviously we’ve moved into a more accepting space across industries, but I still find there is something irreverent about having tattoos in this style on my hands, especially as a femme presenting individual.
   
   Emphasizing the fact that my hands are the center of my craft as an illustrator and writer feels correct. There are more to come.

   

   half of the chain has already fallen out but, worth it.

3. I’ve starting a split training program. I’m trying to get like Kehlani and turn into a muscle-mommy. Jokes aside, it’s important for women to build muscle, as it regulates a ton of other processes and allegedly makes aging less of a humiliation ritual and more of a “becoming.”
   
   I’ve also added a few things back into my diet as a way of figuring out which things work and which don’t. We’ll see. It’s all one big experiment.
   

   

   eat more warm foods!

Here’s the recipe for the beans.

Hoppin’ Johns

• 1 lb dry black eyed peas

• trinity

• bay leaf

• pork of choice (ideally quite salty)

• vinegary hot sauce (Crystal or Tabasco)

• fresh herbs (for topping)

1. Soak the dry beans overnight (covered) in room temp water

2. Rinse and remove and weird beans or pebbles (I guess that’s a thing sometimes)

3. In a large pot, throw in trinity and cook down til it’s fragrant and translucent

4. Add in pork stuffs

5. Once all that is cooked down, add back in the rinsed beans and bay leaf

6. Add water or stalk (ratio 1:3 beans to water)

7. Bring it to a boil, then lower to a simmer

8. Put a lid on it and let it simmer for a couple hours (like 2-3) on extra low heat, mixing it occasionally.

9. Once at desired texture, serve with a splash of hot sauce, and top with fresh herbs.

10. Pairs well with corn bread, quinoa, mustard greens, a fried egg, cooked squash, or whatever. Do what you want.

11. Enjoy ✨

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Spirit

I’ve got a self-portrait to do, as well as a few still-life’s and some miscellaneous vibey work. I look forward to exploring new mediums this year (oil pastels, charcoal, clay, etc.)

doodles

Also, looking forward to experimenting and making another line of scents (last time I made perfume was 2024, and it smells good but the pungent, dark memory trapped in that bottle is enough to euthanize a small whale.)

For now dear reader, happy 2026, and happy creating!