Letter from the Editor
I turn 35 today.
Today also marks my second year of sobriety.
I’ve done my best to document and share my journey through what was arguably the most transformational (and challenging) year in my adult life.
I started this newsletter to create a sort of buoy for myself while I was navigating these profound changes and challenges:
Finding my footing after exiting an eleven-year partnership, going back to therapy, finishing my first year of grad school, refining my nutritional habits and addressing lingering health issues, picking up a mindfulness meditation practice, finding joy in the simple things (flowers, walks in the park, bubble blowing, boardgames, etc.), redefining intimacy in the making (and dissolving) of new connections, reengaging with illustration and photography, leaning into work, fighting to get my finances in order, and further cementing my sobriety—to name a few.
And so, here’s to thirty-five. And here’s to a more vulnerable, raw and robust body of work. As I stated in my previous newsletter, I intend to treat this publication as a digital magazine of sorts moving forward.
This doesn’t feel like the end of a chapter—it feels the end of an entire young-adult chronicle. I am happy to treat the end of this year as such, by closing this final book and preparing to start a new, more mature saga.
I am stepping into this year fresh and full of possibility, with gratitude and giddiness about all the things that I get to create, grow and nurture.
The Daily Practice will drop monthly; featuring interviews, nuggets of inspiration, recipes, recommendations, prompts for the creative practice, and much more (e.g., I’m thinking horoscopes could be fun!)
With that, I humbly open to the first page of this new series of books on my so-called life.
Feature
Kyle Raymond Fitzpatrick
Taj: Do you have any mindfulness practices?
Kyle Raymond Fitzpatrick: At the moment, sadly I do not. I used to meditate every day, I used to do yoga every day, and now I don’t, which is more a fact of life and circumstances changing than anything else. I even stopped going to therapy! Maybe that says something about taking life more raw? That said, I suppose my writing is my mindfulness practice at this point, that silly little essays and getting fiction ideas out is a means to process my feelings and ideas about the world around us. I will start my meditation and yoga practice again at some point — but that requires more free time, which I sadly have so little of.
T: What is your favorite piece of media currently?
KRF: This is not an upper but I got tipped off to this via TikTok: the short film World of Glory. It really captivated me! It’s a 1991 Swedish film by Roy Andersson, who is known for very quiet works about the human condition. World of Glory is about alienation and about the horrors of modern life, expressed in a way that captures a modern numbness that feels very 2020s but clearly was “the vibe” nearly forty years ago. It’s deeply dark — but it’s been on my mind for a few weeks now. Granted, I trend toward the haunting and challenging in a world where everything is so easy as far as media. Give me friction!
T: What has been preoccupying your mind the most recently?
KRF: The state of the planet is always on my mind — How is her health? How is our treatment of each other an expression of our feelings about her? How can we be more like her, the ultimate giver, the most selfless being in existence? — as this is quite a complicated point in humanity, which plays into this (admittedly deep) idea from philosopher John Gray that human evolution hasn’t progressed. But if I’m being really honest? I’m thinking about money. I came from a military family which is a response to a long shadow of poverty and homelessness in my family lineage that continues to hang over little me. In trying to turn something like my lil newsletter into a business, that shadow can feel very dark, that a lack of stability or abundance in finances is a personal flaw versus a reflection of a class war being waged against the 99%.
T: Share a recipe
KRF: I have two that I have been obsessed with: a very refreshing summer salad by Hailee Catalano that brings together cucumber and olive with tinned fish to give you this light and bright savory dish that requires almost “no cooking” along with a curried lentil recipe by Sophie Wyburd that feeds my being very bean-pilled while elevating the humble lentil with curry, chilli, and turmeric, all to enable world travel via a plate-that-is-also-a-bowl. Both are super easy to make too!!
T: What is something you’d like to add to your daily routine?
KRF: Meditation! Or a daily happy hour, ideally without a cocktail, as I would love a daily hang with someone new or an old friend. I feel like I both have little time for myself but also to just exist with others. Sad! And sadly self-dehumanizing.
T: What are you finding sustainable right now? Is it comfortable or challenging?
KRF: Surprisingly, writing The Trend Report™ which has been a battle for the past two years within the whole of the past five years of its existence. I have a rhythm, I have a way of working, it can and does spiral out of control and consume my time when paired with part-time jobs I do to keep the lights on and would love to eventually phase out. But the struggle is so worth it as it represents utopia for me. If I can process culture and do my writing full time? I am living the dream! Even if my writing practice is a bit demanding now, I know that it represents me doing the thing that a much younger version of me always wanted to do. I try to hold that close.
T: What do you do to feel most connected to your body?
KRF: Weight training, which has been a two-year process of building muscle less to “be ripped” but more to reconfigure my body in a way that makes me like it instead of feeling that very gay guy digital pressure to hate it. I’ve always been athletic and doing something like weight training actually makes me feel like my body is a site of love versus some monstrosity that is always less-than. Also? Swimming in the sea 😭 Taking a bath also offers the same idea but, given that I don’t have a tub but I can trek out to a body of water, the sea is where I go to feel like I am a part of something bigger, that I am held.
T: What is something you want but are afraid of?
KRF: Peace, in the personal — which we will work backwards to understand: the financial insecurity item is a response to something like my writing actually being tied to my income which is a response to being able to have so many of Maslow’s needs met that I know is possible but feels impossible given the state of the world, that little me should be able to have security and happiness and abundance based on my talents and years of hard work despite the current state of the world.
T: What are you pretending not to know?
KRF: That you have to actually ask for things in order for them to happen. I like to pretend that the deeply naive “Someone will discover me!” concept is real when, after having worked in Hollywood and “big media,” I know so much of success is based on lineages and right place/right time hustling — and asking for what you want. I like to believe in the very untrue idea that hard work pays off, that struggling in silence will eventually see you recognized: that’s not true. That’s embedded classism.
T: What is inspiring you to create right now?
KRF: Other people! Writing can feel so small and so personal but the reason why I do what I do is for others, to help make their lives easier and help them understand the world around them better. I host events to meet people, to share my life and my time in the hopes of getting the same in return. Outside of technology, outside of work, we’re just little children who want to play together — and that’s what I live for. At some point, in the near-but-distant future, I will have a physical space to host artists and writing workshops, which will be a means to hopefully always be amongst others. Until then, I write and I write and I write.
Shameless Self-Promotion? (anything you wanna share or plug?)
The Trend Report™!! Obvi!!!!! Also my TikTok lol
Kyle is a writer, content creator, critic, renaissance person, esteemed colleague, and someone I have the pleasure of calling a friend. Follow their work at the links above!
Recipe of the month
Eggplant Rice
This was the last recipe I wrote before my previous birthday, and one I’ve yet to share with anyone. Releasing it from the shackles of my notes app here:
Eggplant of choice (8-12 oz)
Shallot (1oz)
Rice (1 cup)
Yuzu Ponzu sauce (2 tbsp)
Olive Oil (to taste + desired texture)
Pine Nuts (to taste)
Fresh Mint (to taste)
Garlic (3 toes, raw 🤭)
Sauté eggplant, shallot and olive oil in a pan until brown. Add yuzu ponzu and reduce until eggplant is mushy. Add dry rice, and enough water to cover the rice by about an inch. Mix. Bring to a boil, uncovered. Once boiling, reduce heat to low and add lid to cook rice. Once the rice is thoroughly cooked, let it cool to room temperature.
In a large bowl, prepare pine nuts, fresh mint, raw garlic, and salt to taste. Add cooked rice and toss all together. Drizzle with more mint, olive oil and salt.
Enjoy 🌿
Daily Practice Prompts
Mind
Set a timer for 10 minutes.
Find a place to sit, and rest in the seated position with your eyes relaxed, but not closed.
With each inhale and exhale count up to 3—inhale exhale “1”, inhale exhale “2”, inhale/exhale “3”.
Repeat this for the entirety of the 10 minute meditation.
As thoughts start to come up and distract you from counting (which they will), continue focusing on your breath.
If you find yourself falling out of count, visualize your thought as a cloud, and gently push it away.
Refocus on your breath, and proceed with counting.
Body
Cut one thing out of your diet, and add an extra hour of sleep time to your schedule.
Do this for a month.
Log your progress daily.
Spirit
Fill a medium trash bag (or whatever size you have laying around) with as much as you can physically carry.
Donate the contents of that bag to GoodWill, or your donation center of choice.
Pebbles
Music
Shamelessly promoting my Q3 playlist still. Great for cleaning, walking, working, and raging. Find that here.
Mood
Currently rewatching No Reservations with Anthony Bourdain. This episode from season two struck a chord with me; in particular the way he describes the style of spice in the food I found intriguing. This was a man who was not afraid of raw, complex heat—or the truth. And I will always have a deep appreciation for his work because of this. I hope that one day I may be in a position to experience the world with as much intensity and acceptance. The surrender required for osmosis sounds both freeing and mortifying.
closing words
As I get my footing in this new format, and this new year, the work will undoubtedly evolve and shift. I look forward to collaborating with my friends, colleagues and muses, exploring and crafting my dexterous creative works, encouraging mindfulness and self-discipline, and seeing what this next chapter brings.
For now, thank you, dear reader, I will see you back here again soon <3
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